Slutty Wedding Sex

Inspired by one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill, wedding sex is a hot topic amoungst twenty something females. In the years where everyone and their mother are getting hitched and having children, the dreaded wedding season is one that the twenty something female absolutely hates! If your single, the thoughts that cross your mind are as follows:

Will I ever find that special someone? 

Why am I single? 

Will I be the last one to marry? 

and of course....

Who can I sleep with at the wedding?

The weeks leading up to the pending nuptials of a friend are always the hardest for the single twenty something girl. While you put on a brave face, along with your other single girl friends, inside you are loathing the idea of spending the reception dancing and eating alone. So you decide to get your hair and nails done. You choose a stunning dress and plan on celebrating the day with your bride-to-be friend. You decide to join her in the joy of this monumental occasion and put aside your selfish thoughts. But lets be honest here people, no matter what you say, those selfish thoughts will continue to rear their ugly heads and the sizing up of young men begins at the church even when you should be focusing on your friend, who's pristine makeup is running down her face. After a few drinks at the reception and noticing some of the why is that girl alone looks from some of the older guests you plan on what most single ladies plan on.... the hot slutty wedding sex. You surrey the dance floor, which has now taken the form of a high school dance, to see if there are any attractive single men. Like a pinball you ricochet from table to table gabbing away to any guy that will listen to you. You are out on the prowl and just looking for some fun. If successful, you will find your slutty wedding sex buddy. 

Now most of the time the gentleman that is envisioned for said act is a complete stranger or possibly a member of the wedding party. Unfortunately, from many stories shared by friends this guy often turns out to be a close friend, an ex, or even worse the grooms handsome younger brother yikes! 

Tales of Wedding Sex

I had a friend once, the endless romantic type, tell me that she thought she met Mr. Right. They had a lot in common and spent the whole evening talking. No one had seen this mysterious Mr. Right she spoke of. Some must have finally thought she went over the deep end. They talked, they danced, and then they had slutty wedding sex. She was completely enamored with him until she started to sober up. She realized maybe they didn't have that much in common and come to think of it she was doing all the talking. He spent the evening dodging questions and simply agreeing with her in every instance. (Which is... let's be honest what every girl loves... a guy who agrees with her) She pulled away one of our other friends to tell her all the details of her rendezvous. Finally, like a scene from a movie, the dance floor parts and Mr. Right is standing there. "Omg", our friend exclaims! She gathers up all of us to reveal that Mr. Right was the groom's little brother and by little I mean little. None of us had seen him in years since he was in middle school. Immediately, you could see the wheels turning and everyone doing the math in the heads frantically. Mr. Right was a senior in high school!

Now, slutty wedding sex does not only apply to the twenty-something female. For one of my male friends, who is always on the prowl, slutty wedding sex ended in quite an unusual place. As I stated my friend is the forever bachelor. He is a great guy but I believe until the right girl commits to him, and he knows who it is, he will wander from woman to woman. Anyway, back to the point, while at a wedding he met a fantastic woman. She was beautiful and intelligent. They had a great fling. He was really happy he met her. Not that he was planning on continuing a relationship with her after the wedding but he was not expecting what happened next. The day after the wedding everyone reconvened for Sunday brunch. He spots the woman he met the evening before and like a gentleman moves towards her table. She doesn't look as pleased to see him as he thought. He sits down at the table and everyone begins to introduce themselves. A new addition to the group is a gentleman sitting on the opposite side of our one night stand woman. He introduces himself to my friend as the woman's husband. WOW! Didn't see that coming!

Some Ettiquette

Now, slutty wedding sex is a general component of the twenty something wedding and from what I have learned from friends--- never ends well. Along with slutty wedding sex people partake in many other activities that they would normally deem inappropriate. So the next time you attend a wedding please follow my 4 simple rules. First and foremost remember that grandparents and children are present. Keep the dancing somewhat proper. Do not prance around like a stripper! Secondly, easy on the buffet! After a night of dancing and drinking the buffet is not always the best thing the second time around. Third, do not live out your fantasies from high school and seek that jock or cheerleader you always wanted. Even if you end up finding them and reliving the dream the next day the fantasy will be over. Last but not least, try to keep the slutty wedding sex on the back burner- remember the reason you are at the wedding is to celebrate the love found between your friend and their significant other.